paper-thin

Micro Carnivalesque Rebellion

2010-10-04T12:41:00.004-05:00

The following note was sent by our friends at AdBusters to individuals who've signed up for a week of anti-capitalist action or, as I promote in my response, pro-culture creation.

Our goal is to catalyze a sudden, unexpected moment of truth, a mass reversal of perspective – a global mindshift – from which the corporate/consumerist forces never fully recover.

Dear jammers, creatives, anarchists & revolutionaries,

As the days of Carnivalesque Rebellion draw near, a debate is emerging amongst our movement. On one side are those whose plans involve a raucous week of stopping traffic, letting off stink bombs and blackspotting billboards. Their argument is that only a festival of the most visceral kind of civil disobedience will shake consumerism to its core. Others, equally passionate and dedicated souls, say that the old lefty tricks of confrontation and escalation don't work any more. They urge a nuanced, slow revolution: a long-term meme war aimed at changing people's spirits and minds.

It strikes us that this is the same personal dilemma that each of us struggle with: deep down in our guts we know that the world demands a radical transformation of the global system. And yet, it seems impossible, perhaps even foolhardy, to topple consumerism and corporate capitalism by confronting it head on. Is there a way out of this impasse? What should we do this November? Send your insights to kono@adbusters.org

My Response:

Micro Carnivalesque Rebellion

To oppose a violent system with violence only reinforces the system itself. A fight against oppression will find strength and ultimately success through intelligent, peaceful action that exposes the greed and fear that corrupts any system it leeches onto, including capitalism. There's no sense in devaluing people just because they're a part of a system. Violence, anger, and aggression are immediate and dramatic, but they divert media and the masses away from real issues and create a smokescreen in which the freedom of plain and simple truth is lost.

We're all a part of this system to some degree whether we want to admit it or not; to war against potential allies postpones a win. For strong and sustainable success, our goal should be to win individuals and leave those who abuse the system to cling to power that is naked and ashamed, stripped of its numbing façade and seen for what it is, a system of twisted logic that will trample the individual for the 'good' of the whole.

With you,

Dave

Bloetry?

2009-09-22T20:56:00.001-05:00

Blogged poetry (title?) often seems self-indulgent and I often stop myself from posting such things for that very reason. So it seems more appropriate that this poetic piece masquerade as prose. It might be meaningful, even outside of my own head, but there are only two ways to find out ...

Based on recent post: "God – the transcendent pyro – started a fire inside my chest."

Trees move in perfect sync - connected by nothing but the influence of the wind. Spirit responds in kind with Spirit, transcending time; quarks with quarks, surpassing space. The subtle inflection of each upturned leaf betrays the intention of a distant and identically interpreting other.

I bear witness and am likewise moved.

Rain, Rain (go) Away

2009-06-11T22:07:00.007-05:00

As I push the pedal closer to the floor, droplets of rain rush to the upper corners of my windshield. I applied a product called Rain Away last week and, though I'll never really look forward to gloomy weather, I've been anticipating a chance to test this stuff out.

Well, it's a success. Consider Rain Away recommended. My wipers are off and it looks increasingly like I'm moving at warp speed.

You may call me Luke.

The past couple of weeks have been very full. Full-time work and part-time social life still leaves a bit of room for family, which is nice ... when they're here. Chuck's in Chicago and the 'rents are at the cottage so I've got a very silent house to myself. It's a good night to be alone. I'm feeling especially tired tonight – mind and body tired –here's hoping this makes for a good sleep ... right after this ...

I had a moment, for the second time this week, where I wished I could stop everything and take a picture. The first was prompted by hundreds of smokestacks/vents from a building south of the 4o1 in Whitby. The second I spotted on the way home tonight. Slick with rain, the concrete dividers were reflecting tail lights as our mirror image shifted in a staggered rhythm along the uneven, glassy surface. With the lilt of some sweet French folk music (90.3FM) and the dreamy after-state that only comes at the end of a long day, it felt like I was in a music video. Not that I could capture that on film, but the longing to do so was a part of the moment.

Right. I'm wondering if this'll make sense when I read it tomorrow?

Either way, bon nuit.

All in All, It's Fantastic

2009-05-30T13:01:00.006-05:00

After a few weeks of changes, I finally seem to settling into some semblance of a routine since the chaos that was thesis completion, Zambia trip, and a few other sources of sleep deprivation.

There are a couple of things that I have come to know more fully and that have stuck with me for more than a month after Zambia, so I figure they're here to stay.

The importance of Trust and the importance of Prayer.

I'm still trying to figure out what exactly that means, but I wanted to get the blog ball rolling again after a prolonged absence, so, cryptic it is!

Also, (and this one's for you Ted) I've been running a couple times a week recently. Today I did my best 4k yet. All times are compared to last week's times to facilitate my own personal ePat-on-the-back:

K 1: 4.30 (4.49)
K 2: 4.41 (4.37)
K 3: 4.10 (4.45)
K 4: 3.38 (4.20)

Wooha! Have a sweet weekend ever'body,

Voice Memo

2009-04-09T21:59:00.007-05:00

I love this function on my cellphone, but what's this memo from January 4th of last year? As though from another lifetime, I hear my halting voice say ...

"It sounds like the neighbors are slowly roasting their dog on a spit;
making revolutions over a fire pit,
but I can't see over the fence."

Oh.

Yeah.

Those dang rednecks, my dang subjectivity.

Skateboarding: The Goose and Gander Story

2009-04-06T12:16:00.004-05:00

I love skateboarding. Not only is it good, clean fun, but it gives me the opportunity to discover other things that I enjoi. For example: photo ops (I really should purchase a legit camera), new friends, hidden urban treasures, bla bla bla. It's great to roll up to an unused parking lot and discover a spot that's perfect to skate – a spot that's somehow 'mine' now that I've discovered it. I'm a modern day Davestopher Columbus.

So, on the way back from the Oshawa Centre, I cut through the parking lot behind Mr. Sub and there, in the middle of the curbed island, was a nesting goose! Cool! It's like a nature show right there in front of me! As I rolled past the little mound of dirt topped with soft, down feathers and a plump mother goose, I took in the serenity of the moment. "I wonder why she's not getting all protective and stuff," I thought as I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye and, oh crap! DADDY'S HOME TOO! I hopped off my board and braced myself for the flurry of fury that was just behind me. He hissed as he swooped in and thrashed around my head wildly with his wings. He clipped me a couple times before I stepped back and swung my skateboard, but didn't connect because he had already started dropping to the ground to spit and hiss at me. (Just relax Ingrid Newkirk.)

I had been smiling since I saw momma, but now I was laughing as I pictured the whole scene as if from a lonely security camera in this abandoned parking lot. "When Geese Attack! Part # Doom" Actually, it's not that dramatic. I don't know who taught this goose how to wing thrash, but it wasn't very effective. A lot of noise and ... seriously, how threatening can a creature be when it's made of hollow bones and feathers?

So here we stand, me looking to snap a couple cell-pics and this gander – prepared to fight to the death to protect his family.

I was finished after a couple of pictures and began to walk away, which is probably what stirred up a fresh boost of bravado in our friend Dandy Long-Neck. He continued to hiss and came at my ankles with wings stretched low and mouth wide open. Did you know boards double as shields? I love skateboarding.

A Brief Update

2009-03-23T12:55:00.004-05:00

After meeting with our Zambian contact on Wednesday, I'm more psyched than ever for the trip to Africa.

With a little help, the wild beast was domesticated on Thursday – tamed by a timely haircut. Side note: you know it's time, when the best thing you can do with your hair is to wear a hat.

I like salad. Especially as a conversation starter.

I think I'm more poetical when I write letters on the typewriter. Maybe it's the inability to undo, or maybe I convince myself I'm more poetical so I don't have to start the letter again. (<–– unintentionally rehashed Mitch Hedberg joke.)

Which brings us to today! A day that looks like spring and feels like winter. As they say, 'So much for global warming!'

Her Morning Elegance

2009-02-13T13:41:00.003-05:00

Besides being an innovative and quirky video idea, I just love the rhodes piano in this song ... and the melody ... and the lyrics ... and the way it ends ... and the possibility that it's a song about a comatose girl living a full and rich life in her mind despite her illness. I don't know, it's a nice song.

Gumbo and fun ... yo.

2009-01-17T13:44:00.002-05:00

I used to believe that Matt and Margaret could not achieve any higher status in my mind. They're just that awesome. BUT! Everything changed at Friday night's show.

I had a little outburst from the stage – wearing my heart on my sleeve is justifiably expected by most – because I realized that it was the most fun I'd ever had playing this acoustic, folk-rock, pop stuff that I can remember. Just when I assume that I've esteemed Matt and Marge just as highly as I possibly could, they go and blow me away ... again. Great musicians, and genuinely beautiful people.

It's not unlike having a second child. After the first, it feels like all your love is maxed out on that one kid. You start to worry: What if I have another one? Will I split my love between the two? Then, the second child is born, and somehow you overflow with more than enough love for both offspring ... or, at least, that's what I've heard it can be like.

Either way, the 'Bougie Down to Bourbon St.' FUNdraiser was a huge success in my books. A gumbo eating, acoustic rocking, childish dancing, fiddle playing, silent auctioning, hot sauce drinking, good time.

Thanks to the organizers and to the kind people who came out to support their friends, specifically Andrew P. and my mom.

Hammerlogue

2009-01-06T12:48:00.005-05:00

There's nothing like a brisk jog to start a crisp winter morning! A warm sun, friends at my side (Scott and Chuck), and, after a few kilometers, the threat of vomit. I've been swimming almost weekly since September, but this was my first run for something other than the bus, and after 3k I didn't feel like the champ that had trotted onto the street a few minutes earlier.

I've learned from reading Steve (my new hero in the blogosphere) that the compared measurements of time/distance are called 'splits' AND that 'negative splits' mean you're doing each lap faster than the one before it – which is apparently a good thing.

That said, here are my splits:

K 1: 4.39
K 2: 4.37
K 3: 4.42
K 0.5: 2.42

TOTAL: 3.5k and intense nausea in only 16.45!

To assist with this process I've started a manifestation of nerdiness (a spreadsheet) to keep track of my training progress for this year's competitive season. I've dubbed our training the Hammer Program, because we're hammering it out ... and we'll be hard as nails come summertime? Either way, the Hammerlogue will help keep track of the ensuing adventure. With 70 laps at the pool last night, a run this morning, and a blog to keep me honest ... we're off!

I Say, You Say*

2008-12-23T12:49:00.004-05:00

I say … I’m developing a cheap and bottleless perfume.
You say … you’ll help me name it.
I say … it’s been done before.
You say … worth is contained in the bottle
I say … dispensed, it finds its value
You say … let me know how that works for you

*Inspired by an odd, one-sided conversation on the bus. The names and content have been generalized to maintain anonymity and to decrease the chances of the reader identifying with the characters "I" and/or "You".

Buns of Awesome

2008-12-09T23:12:00.007-05:00

After two weeks off to accommodate certain academic pressures, Chuck and I were back in the water last night for our longest swim yet. It's still not that great, but we're getting better! We paddled to this rhythm:

Warmup – 500m (20 lengths)
Workout – Pyramid Swim
50m in 1:15
100m in 2:30
200m in 4:30
100m in 2:30
50m in 1:15
(Repeat)
Cooldown – 350m (then we got kicked out by lifeguards who were eager to go home after ignoring the swimmers and talking to each other for an hour)
That's 1.85k total.

I've never felt so good about a swim. It was great. Why? Well, I'm going to pretend that you care and tell you – I think I've found the perfect breathing/stroke rhythm! I know, right?! It's significantly sweet because it makes everything else a lot easier, hence the "never felt so good."

Buns of Awesome
Originally uploaded by the fod.

After this incredible feat of physical prowess, Chuck and I reached for a whole new level of awesome and stayed up till 2am to make and eat cinnamon buns.

Until next time, keep fit, and have fun!

A Writing Day at The Last Resort

2008-12-06T17:39:00.009-05:00

It was one of those days where you say to yourself, "What the heck! I'll throw caution to the weak Toronto wind and just run, careless and carefree, to where my heart takes me. I'm going to break free from these desk and chair-shaped shackles that have monopolized my time for far too long. I'm off! Off to the cottage to ... uh, ... to do homework, but! not before I ... um, well, right after I move some furniture."

My dad and I left in the rented truck at 6-something in the morning. The pre-dawn chill was invigorating! (I wrote that sarcastically, but it really wasn't all that bad.) I fell into a death-sleep as we drifted through Barrie. It was one of those heavy sleeps where someone could have side-swiped our car, thrown a chainsaw-wielding bear into the cab, and my weighted eyelids would still have remained shut regardless of whether I wanted them open or not. It was nice. Sleep like that doesn't happen to me too often. Before I regained consciousness, we were (t)here.

After pops got things going inside, I packed some snow into a pot to melt for tea ...

... and we sat down to devour these huge, gravylicious roast-beef sandwiches. Our lunch steamed like it was made with molten meat and lava bread, which suggests that we're a) spirit-beings who remain unaffected by the physical realm 2) robots made of indestructible metal, or d) it was really cold and dry in there.

After lugging a beastly, wooden shelf thing upstairs with my indestructible robot dad, he left to check on a friend's place and I hunkered down by the stove for a bit of writing. Dad got a shot of the riveting action on his return.

It was a good trip. Dad's great like that – I guess it's called 'being content,' but even if we encountered the worst of circumstances and everything went horribly wrong, it would have still been good to spend time together. Thankfully, in addition to being fun and worthwhile, it was also a productive day.

Saving the World with Flour 'Staches

2008-11-29T18:47:00.004-05:00

Flour 'Staches
Originally uploaded by the fod.

I'm busting my buttons with pride over a certain crew called Route 68. We had a Bake Sale last week and the Jr. Highs at King Street church baked their way to almost $300 dollars to help other people have a better Christmas. It was controlled chaos in our kitchen and an adjacent room, with enough icing to completely cover a small child. Thankfully, the multi-colored icing ended up covering cupcakes, well ... most of it, anyway. Of course, none of this would have been possible without the incredible generosity of the good people of King Street – which makes the whole experience a testament to a very sweet (toothed) community.

The funds will join other donations raised to feed, clothe, and buy gifts for people who need such things in Durham Region and in a village we've adopted in Bwacha, Zambia.

Apparently this economic slowdown has had a negative effect on Food Banks and charitable organizations in general. Let me take this chance to encourage you to keep on giving as you have been, or even start giving like never before. To feel the economic squeeze is to know that people need our help now more than ever.

Peace, love, and cookies!

An Ordinary, Lanoish, Quantumy kind-of Night

2008-11-15T18:22:00.013-05:00

Lanois – Grit Rock
Originally uploaded by the fod.

The night began for me at the Bloor St. Cinema. High Fives for some dear friends before the film started, and I was off – walking, jogging, then walking again across Bloor and down Yonge to meet my ticket-holding brohim. I really wanted to see Ordinary Radicals, but I figure I made the right decision, since I can always see the film another time, whereas Daniel Lanois! ... well ...

The show was sweetly engaging. Lanois was like a shy person inviting new friends to enter his most favorite room in his home. He was charming, and somewhat awkward as he thanked specific people, including his mother, for being present. Not that it's awkward to thank your mother, it's just that he was awkward ... and he also thanked his mother.

The only other time he had been in the venue was when he was front row for Miles Davis in 1969, and he spoke more than once to honor the 'ghosts' of the great musicians that had played there before him. Brian Blade finessed those drums like a thunderstorm and I could feel the bass in my chest all the way up in the balcony. Bassist Marcus Blake and guitarist Jim Wilson from Mother Superior really added to the rock of the show singing gritty, yet clearly grand harmonies.

Apres le show we took a short trip to the basement to check out the merch, (along with all the balding, middle-aged men and their post-hippie wives) then Chuck and I stalked north, hunting for any restaurant with free refills. THEN! I am resorting to point form for the rest of this post because it's already too long.

– Meet up with Margaret (Who came straight from her own show)
– Decide to see Quantum of Solace – it's a Bond flick alright.
– Wendy's! – three Jr. bacon cheeseburgers and a water
– Call out some losers who were making fun of brohim (I don't CARE if he looks 'disoriented' when he eats potatoes, he's my brother and if you don't like that, well there's some good ol' fashioned Irish beatings for you ... metaphorically speaking, of course)
– TTC – I really do enjoy me a good transit ride home when there's good company to be had.

Goooooood night!

Poster-Sized Inspiration

2008-10-13T17:31:00.007-05:00

I'm looking to prettify a huge blank wall in my office. I've actually been half-heartedly searching for over a year, but I have yet to discover any art that, first, is really great, and second, I can actually afford. Perhaps a healthy triptych of some sort would serve my needs (Mikee, this one's for you. You've been coming up with this stuff since you were in grade school.) ...

Refresh

2008-09-22T14:07:00.006-05:00

I've been blogging on a dark template since I first started this thing in 2006. The green/white on black suddenly felt tired today, very much past its expiry date. So, now I have the same template ... except lighter, yeeeah. Does that scream "I don't like change!" ... ? That fear didn't inform my decision as far as I know – I just don't like the other templates. I'm over-thinking this. Last time I checked, my hits didn't warrant fretting over color-selection. (Yeah, that's right; 'color'. After years of including the superfluous U's that distinguish our cumbersome Canadian spellings, I'm done. Expediency and efficiency have won ... and if I write any more about this, it might as well be considered a redundant change.)

Moving on – Chuck and I are considering doing some triathlons when that season starts up again. I have no idea when that is, which may or may not be a fair indication of how prepared we are for such an undertaking. Either way, we did a little workout today which I'm sure was good. I'm guessing though. I think it was good mostly because I felt like vomiting when we were doing the last half of the run. Man, if each workout progresses to that point every time, I'm sure we'll be winners by next year. At the very least I'll be able to explain away my rake-like body type by pointing to a faded number written in permanent marker on my arm.

It was like this:

Bike: 7k
Swim: 3/4k
Bike: 7k
Run: 1k

For a reference point, the entry point for triathlons (Try-a-Tri) looks like:

Swim: 375m
Bike: 10k
Run: 2.5k

Okaybye,

CN Tower Dwarfed

2008-08-14T23:14:00.006-05:00

It's old news now I guess, but as of mid-June the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) is over 100 m taller than our cute, little CN tower. What was once the tallest freestanding structure in the world is now ... not.

So, what's your claim to fame now Toronto? ... Multiculturalism? Unfortunately, that doesn't make for a very impressive skyline. That said, 'Most Multicultural' definitely has a nice ring to it ... a polyphonous ring ... a not-a-major-tourist-attraction kind of ring.

Story Time with Uncle Dave

2008-08-07T20:09:00.003-05:00

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the...
Originally uploaded by the fod.

My neighbours were getting into their car when I complimented them on their clothes.

"Looking good!" I said.

"Why thank you!" She sounded pleased.

She really did look good in her high-collared, white summer dress with black flowers on it. Her husband was equally bold in his freshly-pressed black golf shirt and black pants.

It was such a good start to the conversation, I just rolled with it ...

"I guess you're headed somewhere fancy tonight!"

Her response was emotionless, "We're going to a funeral."

...

So, above is a picture of the beautiful job I did paring the overgrown lawn back to reveal the never-before-seen edge of our driveway. I'm not going to say my efforts were an attempt to appease karmic law, but I was definitely at least partially motivated by the lesser cousin of guilt ... What's his name? ... Regret?

fodTunes smashes Tapes

2008-06-24T23:57:00.002-05:00

Hey friends and e-friends alike,

You may not believe me, but I wanted to be among the first to tell you ... there is this new thing called iTunes that plays music and videos. I really believe in technology, so I am hoping to bring them fame by allowing them to sell digital copies of my songs.

If you believe in technology too, don't buy tapes any longer. They are the way of the past. Help out this fledgling company by clicking on their cool logo below...

If you are still old school like stale biscuits, you can click the album below and receive the opportunity to buy a piece of history that matches your attitude.

Thanks a bunch to my wonderful friends Jeff Muir, for recording my voice and guitar at the same time, and Margaret Lim, for covering everything with a bark-like paper.

The Next President – A Superficial Prediction

2008-06-06T14:45:00.008-05:00

Despite my genuine patriotism and general lack of interest in politics, it's hard not to notice the political heat getting cranked up South of the border. Whether or not the upcoming election will boast a diversity of platforms, which would be the ideal in a 'democratic' nation, at least there is an obvious VISUAL diversity. As a result, the vote is simplified, and for that, sirs (no ma'am here anymore), the citizens of America thank you.

Though unnecessary, the American media will most definitely broadcast the crap out of this 'fight' to the bitter end, milking every last ounce of attention from slack-jawed viewers. But really folks, let's be honest – regardless of policies and promises, unless he leaves his current straight and narrow to do something really stupid – Obama is as good as in. (I was going to say he's a shoe-in, but I'm not sure he's being shooed anywhere.)

Why is Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. going to be the next president of America? Well, because he looks better on TV of course!

Let's run through a completely superficial list of potential reference for our neighbo(u)rs of voting age.

McCAIN is old (72 at the end of August)
OBAMA is young ... well, relatively (47 at the beginning of August)

McCAIN is white (white is so ... oh, I don't know ... 1860's?)
OBAMA is black (suddenly, for US politics, black is the new black)

McCAIN is unhealthy (whether he's in good shape or not, the man makes heart failure look like a distinct possibility ... or choking on a pretzel, or whatever a Cheney look-a-like would do)
OBAMA is healthy (I'm no doctor, but it serves us well to recognize that he doesn't LOOK unhealthy)

The American public wants 'change'. They're screaming for it. Who do you think they're going to choose: a guy who looks like every other president they've ever had ... ever, or a guy who doesn't.

Saudi TV Debate

2008-05-20T10:09:00.004-05:00

The subtitles go quickly at some points, but I appreciated the intelligent and specific arguments of this Islamic woman.

It is not often that dissenting views are expressed so well in this context and it is interesting to think of the implications. Taken to an extreme, Islam may be headed toward some sort of reformation. I find myself thinking about what a resulting religion would look like decades down the road.

Subway, eat lots.

2008-05-05T14:24:00.002-05:00

Yes
Originally uploaded by the fod.

I'd like to say we were kind, even charming, but the truth is we didn't have to say much to the delinquent staff at this undisclosed Subway location.

I believe it was Joseph who commented that, despite the staff's lack of faith in their baking abilities, we were willing to eat anything, as long as it came in large quantities.

The tray was delivered to our table along with a smile after we had started our subs.

I think we got through half of them before the manager arrived for her shift and cut our little party short with a curt, "I'll take that!" as she snatched the tray of overcooked, yet delicious cookies from us.

Moral of the story? Gorge while you still can.

Chopin/Radiohead – Jack Conte

2008-04-14T14:28:00.002-05:00

I thought of Tyler as soon as I saw this. Not because he reminds me of a yelling Adam Sandler (as Conte does), but because of the genre-defiant instrumentation and the one-man-band ingenuity.

I guess it is a blog after all

2008-04-07T11:10:00.007-05:00

Blogging has lost its appeal for the time being. I'm not sure why, but I'm sure the desire to virtually spill my guts will return before too long.

I've got a couple papers to write this week (maybe that's why I'm procrastiblogging), but I'm not too stressed. I'm definitely looking forward to the warmer weather and changing my wardrobe up a bit. I've been wearing my winter uniform [see pic] pretty much since September and it's time for a change – and all the people said ... AMEN!

It's times like this that I recall the old Responsible Shopping adage, "Never shop alone."

As an open invitation to people with good taste who value their time – if you're into 2nd-hand clothing stores and good times with Dave, set your anticipator for next week.

One Wicked-Good Friday Evening

2008-03-10T19:34:00.001-05:00

Tom Fun Orchestra
Originally uploaded by the fod.

Ingredients:
2 Sweet Friends
2 Servings of Delicious Roast and vegetables
6 Photos involving an incredibly awesome mustache
3 Doors away from The Dakota
1 Buddy who runs 'tings (and gets people in for free)
1 Drunk Dude that Dances like a disjointed ape with confused girls and speakers that don't support his weight
4 Bands – Including:
1 Forgettable Band who's singer warbles like a goat
1 Band that reminds me of The Band (They even had their own Garth Hudson)
1 Exceptional and Hilarious Band (Tom Fun Orchestra)
5 Makeup-Wearing Music-Theatre Grads that I gave the benefit of the doubt and immediately regretted staying around for
1 TTC token saved and some quality time with a good friend on ...
1 Slippery Ride Home
2.5 Hours Past Midnight
1 Contented Boy

Johnny Cash and the Great American Contradiction

2008-03-03T10:56:00.006-05:00

If you're into Cash, books, or wranglin' – there's an event on the dirt-streaked side of academia coming to you.

Here's the deets:

Crux Books Inc. & CRC Campus Ministries
with “Music, Prophecy and Culture”
Present:

The Man in Black @ U of T!!!

A Free Book Launch and Lecture by Rodney Clapp

With Musical Performances in Honour of Johnny Cash by:

Michael Iafrate
Zoe Neuman
Tom Reynolds
Felicity Williams
Together with a host of other supporting musicians!

Tuesday, March 11th
7:00pm-10pm
Leonard Hall @ Wycliffe College
5 Hoskin Ave.
Toronto, ON M5S 1H7

This evening is presented to you by:

Crux Books Inc.
www.cruxbooks.com

Live! ... online.

2008-02-28T16:13:00.007-05:00

If I was Hans, this would start with, "I'm twittering away ..." on my computer while I listen to a Tegan and Sara concert that was recorded when they were in Calgary this past September or something. Although I think my twittering is probably not as productive when compared to the twittering of Hans. Either way, it's nice to hear songs I enjoy in a different context (the ones I don't enjoy are still crap live ... so far).

Thanks CBC Radio 2!

They have a ridiculous number of live shows recorded and posted online. Various artists and genres – something for everyone I'm sure. If you're looking for a twist on a background track to move you through the movie of your day, you're bound to find it here.

Salutad!

Musical Greatness from the UK

2008-02-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

Martyn Joseph
Originally uploaded by the fod.

I heard "Turn Me Tender" late in 2007 and I was humbled by the vulnerability and musical excellence of this incredible Welshman. When my professor discovered that Joesph was touring Canada, he sent off an email that resulted in a visit from one of the best songwriters I know. (Which may or may not be saying a lot.)

He played some tunes, talking about the context in which he wrote them. Then spoke some soul-bearing words in response to our questions before giving us time to dry our tears while he picked through a few more songs. What a guy!

I was so honoured to meet him and super awkward when I gave him my demo. I had all these clever segues thought out about 'passing the time traveling to the next gig' or whatever – I just ended up mumbling something like, 'Uh, this is some of my stuff...' trying to pass it to him while he was signing his latest release for me. Man. I should hire a choreographer just to help me get through the day.

Margaret has done the sweetest thing for me. She designed and put together a cover for The Sheraton Sessions so I can look all pro at the Guitar Summit on Monday. She inspires me to be better than I am, that's for sure.

If you're a Clash/Strummer fan and you haven't seen Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten – you MUST. It's playing at the Royal Theatre (608 College St.) for a limited time – the best $10 I've spent in my life.

Well, I think that's about enough. To steal a phrase from a guy who should run for Prime Minister,

That's time.

I just do

2008-02-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

At times I feel compelled to scrawl things in the margins of my notebook. My muse? Definitely not one of the nine daughters of Zeus ... but if it was a girl, I would name her A.D.D.

The Limits of Introspection

Shallow shall we go
down as deep as we can know
Leaning on the self and seen
neglecting all desire brings
Shallow we shall go

Deepest waters drink
In darkest ocean corners sink
to a place that’s rarely seen
knowing now another being
Water deeply drink

Stroumbo

2008-01-22T15:41:00.001-05:00

"You have thirty seconds!"
Originally uploaded by the fod.

Anne, Melissa, and I got to see George in action a week ago today. I was surprised by three things:
1. He genuinely loves his job – so much so that he has a hand in every aspect of the show, from guest-selection and writing to review and implementing changes. The guy doesn't sleep.
2. He's thirty-five years old! I don't know, this may not be news to some, but – shocker to me – I figured he was in his late twenties.
3. He'll stick around after filming to spend time with anyone who wants to talk until the last person leaves. A girl who works there told us that sometimes he's there for three hours after the show. Nice guy.

In the commercial breaks he chatted with us about whatever questions we had or whatever was on his mind. Guest selection was a topic that came up and he mentioned that he makes an effort to select guests that he's actually interested in, giving the spotlight to people that he believes in as people, not just as celebrities or a boost for the ratings. It's an admittedly biased selection process for the most part, but his intentions are to bring relevancy to a scene that is often lacking in reality checks. The Hour has its weaknesses, like any television show, but it was refreshing to hear him talk shop.

If you're looking to experience this for yourself, tickets are free. Let me know if you're going, I'll probably want to attend again at some point depending on the guests.

I'm Into That

2008-01-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

Any attempt to sort through the ever-increasing amount of music and number of bands in our little world often proves too daunting a task to tackle. I like it when people blog about tunes they're into or mass email the name of an artist they find intriguing. I've got a pent-up need to do the same myself ... so, here you go!

Here are some artist profiles that I've stumbled onto recently.

Salut!

Jose Gonzalez
Powerful acoustic riffs and exceptional vocals meet good lyrics. On top of all that ... add THIS! He hails from Sweden. Some people've got it all.
http://www.myspace.com/josegonzalez

Jamie Cullum
A great alt-jazz/pop dude my brother introduced me to. With a smoky voice and the face of Bilbo Baggins, the man probably needs to have a junk mail folder specifically designated to divert marriage proposals.
http://www.myspace.com/jamiecullum

Miss Emily Brown
Simple and delicate. Not my absolute favourite, but I'm drawn in by her vocals. Canadian what?!
http://www.myspace.com/missemilybrown

Ray LaMontagne
So cool. So, so cool. It has been scientifically proven that this man can speak to shadows and get a response.
http://www.myspace.com/raylamontagne

Fear is Patriotic and Colour-Coded.

2008-01-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

Randy Newman is old enough to be honest, and old enough to be gentle about it. But really, if you have to compare your political leader to Hitler to make him seem okay ...

Randy Newman - A Few Words in Defense of Our Country

Shop Till You Drop

2007-12-22T20:47:00.001-05:00

You'd be so proud of me. I did all my Christmas shopping in the past 6 hours. ALL of it. I set out at noon without even an idea in my head and came home with beautifully personal gifts for each family member (and double for mom since her birthday is on the 24th.) I was like a consumer-puma, with cat-like agility and speed. From BMV on Bloor, through Kensington, all the way over to World's Biggest Book Store by Dundas Sq. On the subway ride home I thought my legs were going to fall off.

Offensive Pacifism

2007-12-10T13:31:00.001-05:00

I consider myself a pacifist. I am not a violent person, and I'd like to think that I have sufficient self-control to maintain a stance of non-violence even if I was confronted with it. But is this position of pacifism reliant on the haven that North America has become, specifically my Canadian citizenship? We are so far removed from the threat of violence that it gives me pause.

What if someone was to break into my house? If they asked where the DVD player was, would I point out that my computer was in the other room? Probably not. In fact, I would probably be more than willing to defend myself and my property. (My property ... even the issue of stewardship/God-owns-everything can suggest that we value what we've been trusted with enough to protect it.) Dad and I were talking about this, and he told me a story about a Quaker who confronts a thief in his store. Looking at the robber over the barrel of a gun, he says, "Sir, I would not harm thee for the world, but thou art standing where I am about to shoot." (I'm assuming he didn't own the gun, maybe it was for sale in his store?) If the hypothetical Quaker can draw the line, maybe I can too.

So, here's my question: Am I okay with the incredibly gifted theologian Bonhoeffer who helped to plan an assassination plot against Hitler, or a Toronto police officer that shoots a man just before the criminal guns down an innocent?

I think I am ... and that confuses me.

Am I not leaving space for the intervention of a God I trust? He says he'll take care of me and that by loving my enemies, I'll be leaving room for him to act justly in a way that my subjectivity would never allow. What about defending those who can't defend themselves? That seems like the 'right' thing to do. I can't help but wonder if some sort of 'Offensive Pacifism' is the answer. A place where protecting the weak takes precedence over turning the other cheek ...

The Cat's Eye - Friday

2007-11-19T19:14:00.000-05:00

Hey friends, I'll be playing a few tunes at The Cat's Eye on Friday. If you're looking for something to do, it should be sweet. Becca Viapiana is one of the organizers and a lot of UofT talent performing as well as my buddy Tyler Sammy.

I like dogs and burning cats, so let's imagine that this particular cat's eye has been dislodged from it's socket in a traumatic encounter with one of UofT's mutant squirrels.

Who: the fod (and several other musicians)
What: FREE Café-type event
Where: The Cat's Eye - 150 Charles St. W. (Here's a map)
When: Friday, November 23, 2007
Why: The Enlightenment is over?

For those of you who don't know:
The Cat's Eye is located downstairs in the Wymilwood building on Charles Street West, just east of Museum Station

Hope to see you there!

'F' words

2007-10-29T14:25:00.001-05:00

Halo
Originally uploaded by the fod.

A life-altering circumstance is the only thing that could ever drag me out of a posting slump, well ... that and Matt Mitchell told me he likes to read my blog. This one's for you Matt.

I WENT UP THE CN TOWER! I've been close enough to touch the city's phallus before, but this trip was a first for this Torontonian of thirteen years. It was so rad to be up there with Mel and Ash. This is something we've talked about doing since I first met the Aussie ... although I'm pretty sure it was after I proposed to her. (Don't freak out ma, we haven't set a date yet.)

It was also really great because the sun set while we were up there – very beautiful. There was certainly potential for a romantic moment. Although, the closest thing to romance that occurred was Mel getting hit on by some older, asian men, which she responded to by slowly turning away. Mel the heartbreaker, strikes again!

It was cool to look down beyond my feet, floating hundreds of metres above the concrete. The glass floor was pretty awesome. People moved a safe disctance away when I jumped a few times to test the strength of the transparent floor. Funny how it psychs you out. I asked a staff member who was monitoring my experiment how often they perform maintenance on the glass floor. Once a year. At first that didn't seem like nearly enough, but when you compare it to any other building ...

We ate dinner at Fran's (College/Yonge) as a part of our Farewell to Ash evening. It was nice to spend time with this gal over the past few weeks. She's one of those people who remind you how fun it is not to take yourself too seriously. It's easy to adore people like that and I know I'm definitely not the only one who's looking forward to seeing her again.

*le sigh*

Gooooood times.

Mustache March

2007-09-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

It's only six short months away. Men, prepare to sacrifice your pride. Women ... don't even think about it.

Ballad of the Beard

No Blog For You!

2007-08-29T10:26:00.000-05:00

I'm noticing a pattern here. Posting is very much related to my schedule. Having fun = No blogging.

So, apparently the past few weeks have been awesome. I've been up to The Last Resort (our cottage) more in the past three weeks than I have ever been in my entire life. A chunk of every week is spent up there and I've tremendously enjoyed the time. Swimming daily (in a lake! I get psyched just thinking about it), reading a lot (Velvet Elvis was and is great), playing music, chopping wood, lying in a hammock ... yeah, it's been pretty rough.

Big News! Well, pre-big news – I've got a demo together of some acoustic stuff that Jeff recorded for me in a big wood lecture hall at school. Although it has nothing to do with the tracks we've been working on for the past year, it feels great to have something to show for the two parking tickets and falafel filled day on the UofT campus. I may just follow suit (Chuck and Marge) and start a new blog that details the comings and goings of this 'fod' project. Apparently I should at least post explanations to the songs. Mom and Dad don't think anyone will understand what I'm going on about.

I finished working at Hope Community Church last Sunday and the people there gave me the most incredible Goodbye. I really didn't expect much after only having been there for a few months, but they made me feel like a champ. I really was caught off guard at how much of a bond developed over this short period of time.

Last week was rad, it was like Uxbridge Week. I was up there on Thursday and Saturday, and it was so great to meet (or re-meet in some cases) many people who make me smile. The Ottenhofs, some of the many Huizengas, the Perrotts, Gracie, and hearing Caitlin perform was a treat. Her voice reminds me of Karis(sp?) - another great singer/songwriter. It was also really good to hook up with James MacKnight, a fellow aspiring musician and blast from the past, so to speak. He wrote a note about the Ux promoting a healthy and relational lifestyle, it's so true. Not that it's a utopia or anything, but I hope that more people with a similar mentality discover themselves living there that so the town can continue growing in the way it is.

Okay, confession time. I've cycled through liking/not liking a certain artist for a few years now. But after listening to The Con all morning, I'm ... intrigued once again. Does anyone else out there like Tegan and Sara? Maybe even enough to go see a show early in October?

Ending with a question seems appropriate, so I'll do that ... hm, I guess this new ending just screwed that up ... or did it?

Time to Relax

2007-08-09T22:47:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my last day at this teaching job.
It has been a stretching experience – one I probably wouldn't have done if I knew what I know now. It's too soon to tell whether this feeling I'm experiencing right now is the satisfaction of achievement or merely the relief of being done. Not that it was all bad. I had a great time with the kids and the people I worked with. I'm leaving with some great stories and some good experience under my belt. (I wonder if anyone has ever started to title a resumé 'Under My Belt' and then stopped to consider the ambiguity.) I've just finished creating the final test for these kids and I'm so looking forward to some quality down-time.

Take it away Mika.

Stairs

2007-07-10T19:59:00.000-05:00

I have shameful visions
of falling down the stairs. Lying
broken and crippled at the bottom of an
unrelenting flight I recall my misstep and grit
my teeth as I mouth the word, “stupid!” to ……… myself.

========================================================
I seriously do. It's weird. The next thing I do is fumble for my cell.
========================================================

Margaret Knows

2007-06-28T11:07:00.000-05:00

And it soon begins! TESL work starts next week – I'm anticipating that ... a little nervous because it's a new thing, but our boss said that as long as we don't cry in front of the students we'll be okay. (What kind of advice is that?)

Yesterday involved a little bit of recording with Jeff "the Master" Muir and a lil' bit of Live Free or Die Hard. Ridiculously great movie, ridiculously. Before going to the theatre we listened through the 'Sheraton Sessions' acoustic stuff that we did last week. It sounds really sweet. That huge, wood room warmed the sound right up. Despite my inability to focus yesterday, working with Jeff got me very psyched to get this stuff finished. It has been a year and a half since we naïvely started this venture ... looks like a fall release is acheivable at this point!

On a related, yet completely distinct note; Andy Mckee is awesome. Innovative and incredibly melodic – without fail, this guy brings me pause.

Drifting

Rylynn

Brobro

2007-06-13T23:46:00.001-05:00

Moses?
Originally uploaded by the fod.

Chuck and I rode our bikes home after APC's family picnic tonight. It was fun coasting through cool parks and dimly lit streets. Summer nights are so rad.

One trail led us down into a sort of ravine and as we picked up speed, small bugs bounced off my face. Chuck looks back and says, "Keep your mouth closed."

'Good idea' I think after which I hear a laugh from a horizontal couple on the park bench we're passing.

Fod at Work with Chuck

2007-06-11T10:02:00.000-05:00

Faulkner-esque Miracle Grow

2007-06-10T16:14:00.000-05:00

I love Stevie Wonder and sunshine and guitar. Israel was great! We saw some truly awesome and incredibly old things. My mother was there. Matt has a garden this year. He planted radishes and basil and some other stuff that people don't normally eat. Well, that's not really true. I ate a weed today. Not 'weed'; A WEED. We played soccer in the park today. I rode my skateboard there and laughed when I landed a wobbly heel-flip. I wish Uxbridge was closer - those peeps play soccer too ... for kicks. Couldn't resist. I played guitar for a bit today on the front step and a drunk neighbour came by to sing along. Great. The New Amsterdams rule too. If Stevie was King, they would be his knights ... or maybe just the squires of the knights. But very competent squires.

I can't concentrate. Summer's here and my mind is divided and preoccupied by far to many demands for my attention. Off to a show I go!

Salut!

... like dinner.

2007-05-10T09:57:00.000-05:00

Whew! I was worried I had forgotten my password for this thing. No such luck! You are subjected to yet another blog by the ever-changing fod.

After a very long month of sympathetic friends becoming slightly annoyed acquaintances, rejected by my self-imposed isolation ... I have finished my plague, ahem ... uh, I mean, paper. It was a Thursday late night as I topped off the word-count and moved on to do a quick two-pager for this TESL course, but I slept like a crashed plane knowing that I had torn through a forest of trees and found my rest at last.

That said, I'll review this monster before I send it off tonight and make sure it's not utter nonsense for the last five pages (which I don't really remember writing). Then off to work, an exam tomorrow, and out to see Margaret's award-winning creations on Friday afternoon. (That girl is brilliant.)

If you're not doing anything this Saturday, I'm playing a show in Ajax with Chuck and Jeff (Sir Muir). If their faces are any indication ... it should be a good time! Details and awkward photo at: http://www.thinkerlabs.ca/jonmanafo/?page_id=36

One Step Closer to Nowhere

2007-04-19T16:17:00.000-05:00

My hands haven't stopped shaking in a week. It makes typing fun. It makes formal introductions awkward. It makes me anticipate next week all the more.

I started a full-time 'Teaching English as a Second Language Course' on Monday. The same week all my finals are due. It's not pretty, and neither is she. It's foreign to me, being prone to pessimism. Maybe this whole cycle will deteriorate into a spiritual re-awakening. That would be great, although I'd much rather that process occur while I'm sleeping.

For the moment, my spiritual re-awakening will be postponed - I can't hit rock-bottom when I've just finished an exam, the sun's shining and I'm going out for dinner with friends. I'll put it off, hitting rock-bottom can wait. I guess that temporarily makes procrastination a good thing?

Two Awesome

2007-04-02T23:41:00.001-05:00

Two Awesome
Originally uploaded by the fod.

We've decided that next year's Mustache March will have a more noble cause besides getting laughed at on the subway and requests to shave.

It'll be a Mustache Marathon, to raise money for a charitable organization. A worthy cause is the only thing that could drag me back to that heinous grooming again.

I'm not completely comfortable admitting that I actually enjoyed it, but I did.

Get ready folks, Mustache March 2008 is a mere 11 months around the corner!

Post Spread Thin

2007-03-31T00:46:00.000-05:00

I've had a great week.

- I got mewithoutYou's latest record and have been listening to it a lot. It makes me want to speak only in poems and change the world, which are maybe not entirely unrelated.
- Met my good friend Will for a $2 lunch ... then randomly ran into him two days later. I feel enriched to know such an individual.
- There were some fantastic lectures this week. Not that that would be out of the ordinary, but, it happened this week too.
- I shared dinner, laughs, and good conversation with some great people, old friends from Uxbridge and new friends from places I don't recall.
- I've discovered areas on which I can spiritually improve. God help me.
- Progress is being made toward a part-time and full-time job for this summer.
- I wrestled with my brother and tossed him in the trunk twice.

Day 18

2007-03-18T11:18:00.001-05:00

Day 18
Originally uploaded by the fod.

Nobody takes me seriously anymore. Bank loans, pick-up lines, job interviews ... all denied.

And I'm skeptical, if I make any major decisions during this month will I remain true to them as of April 1st? I mean, participating in Mustache March represents such a serious lack of judgement on my part ... can I be held responsible for any decision, opinion, bias or expression over the next fourteen days?

Yes, yes I can. Because my mustache ... is awesome.

Love

2007-03-06T11:39:00.000-05:00

I'm writing an essay on a diverse community called to live in unity, to genuinely love others – the Church as a visible representative of God. A couple things hit me. First, the fact that God would trust us to be his representatives, we're definitely not capable of representing deity. Finite humanity as a proxy for the infinite supernatural – we fall so incredibly short. So, in the most graceful move of all, God offers his love to us so that we can give that away. Supernatural, unfathomable love, overflowing our finite pockets. If we're tapped in to this extravagant love, it's almost like we have no choice but to give it away, it's going to be spilling all over anyway.
My second thought continues from that. What an honour it is to be trusted with love – trusted to give it away. What goes around, comes around. If we don't empty our pockets, we won't be able to fill them again. We would be losing the privilege to love.

I'm using U2's song 'One' in this essay. Specifically the line celebrating unity amidst diversity, “We’re one, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other”. There's the privilege again, we GET to carry each other. I wept through the entire performance of the song with Mary J. Blige. The melody changes, the black woman in harmony with an Irish man, the heaviness of the empty seats, Mary just givin'er, the sweet simplicity of unison, the darkness of shadows, the humility of Bono kissing Mary's hand. After considering this topic so deeply, the impact of the performance hit me at the same level.

Often times, the Church is so far from representing God in all his love. I'm glad to have so many giving people around me who show love in all it's extravagance. I sure hope I do the same.

Day 4

2007-03-04T23:32:00.000-05:00

Day 4
Originally uploaded by the fod.

It has begun. Mustache March may lose me some friends, then again, it may make me some enemies.

Paid Gig

2007-02-28T23:17:00.000-05:00

"Hey, I'm Mason." Not a shred of celebrity about him as he strolled up beside me to check out the stage. I had no idea who he was, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw him up there performing a few hours later.

I was paid to watch Mason Jennings and Guster perform on Monday night. Yeah, I helped move their gear around for a bit before and after the show, but that's just because I was feeling so strong from dinner.

A special thank-you goes out to Eli for introducing Bruce and I to coconut rice. Apparently, rice steamed in chicken stock tastes even better. That's frightening since Coconut Rice rules the world of Thai cuisine along with his queen, Green Currie.

Guster was incredibly talented; switching instruments every song and belting out these beautiful three-part harmonies. A fun live show ended with not one, but two encores! The second was a very acoustic song – without the benefit of a sound system.

"We're going to try something without the PA. You can help us by being very, very quiet."

That didn't stop screaming girls from cutting loose one strum into the song. They were quickly shushed by more intelligent fans who have a better grasp of the concept of sound.

A beautiful evening.

Subway Thoughts With Dave

2007-02-08T20:40:00.001-05:00

No book, no fodPod, no friend. This was my first trip on the subway without a something/someone to keep me company since I started school in September. And on top of that ... add THIS! I had minimal mattress-time last night, so, against all logic, I'm hyper today. Next stop: imagination station.

Have you ever wondered what the person next to you on the train was thinking?
If I was sitting next to you, this is what you would have have wanted to know.

I turned around in the hotel lobby and this guy was standing there with his hand on a kid's shoulder. He smiled at me and said, "Hey, I'd like to introduce you to my son." We talked for a while and I guess I have an honest face because he decided to confide in me. He lowered his voice as he said, "It's too bad, really. We don't know who the mother is. I used to go down to the pub to pick up a lot more than I do now. Must've been some nine-month stand."

I've got my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. There are only a few options here.
- gigantism
- a summit
- low clouds
- decapitation

When I get married and have all eight boys we're going to celebrate Christmas by exchanging gifts. Then we're going to take something we don't use anymore from a previous Christmas or birthday and give it away. It'll give the boys a more balanced understanding of the season.

I know who I am! - quarter-life crisis averted

2007-02-05T16:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, I may be running too far on a tangent, but I feel like I left the last post somewhat unresolved. So I will enjoy the flavour of my leftovers-mixed-into-soup lunch (in all its appropriateness) and recount for you a two-dimensional version of a revelation I experienced this very morning.

To re-cap: I attempted to define myself according to my familial relationships. I am a son and a brother. I figured that the relationships I share with these people would describe who I am. I was so close! But it took a little more time to refine this raw idea into a more workable concept.

Now – a disclaimer here – I'm still working this through and I'm open to objections or suggestions. That said, I think this is at least a big step in the right direction, that being toward my own elusive identity. (This is far too wordy, hang in there! Dave tells fantastic stories if they don't bore you to tears.) I was so focussed on my identity being within myself, a core, a true-self hidden deep within the recesses of my being. So deep was this caché of personality, that even I could never fully uncover it.

But I was searching in the wrong spot! Identity is not inside, it's outside. By that I mean – I discover myself in my relationships. To be human is to be a relational being - a being that relates in a unique way to others who share the same relational capacity. Through relational activity, we discover exclusive distinctions about the 'self' - our identity. (I just took 'thereby' out of that sentence. Whew. It would suck if, as I relate my thoughts, I discovered that I'm a huge nerd.)

What if I'm stranded on a deserted island? There's nobody to relate to! Good question ... Dave. I would go so far as to say that we are designed to be defined by our relationships, the most important of which is our relationship to our designer. It is in the pursuit of this relationship that self-discovery unleashes its full potential. Who could know me better than the being that created me?

This is a beast of a post, but I'm glad I wrote it. Writing these things out (and talking them out too, I guess) helps me fill in the gaps between big ideas. Thanks for sticking around.

In the spirit of this post, I leave you with a distortion of Tyler Durden's words ...

You are not your job. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your bowel cancer. You are not your censored khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing people of the world.

Quarter-life Crisis

2007-01-23T23:51:00.000-05:00

It's hard to be honest when someone asks who I am.

Apart from the whole name thing, which is difficult to fudge, I don't know who I am. I understand some of my preferences, but even these are fragmented and contradictory. I do not satisfy myself or a definition with any of the responses I give. I am not a vocation or a hobby or any of the other things I do, but I have no other handle. Maybe that's why About Me's always turn into a vague joke.

In Systematic Theology we learned to define the persons of the Triune God by their relationship to each other, not by their roles which are all entertwined since they are one being. The only method of distinction is by referring to the Son as he is eternally begotten by the Father, from whom the Holy Spirit eternally proceeds.

My father is Keith, my mother is Esther, and I am a brother to Matthew.

Even if it would never cut it in a job interview or as an introduction to a girl's parents, I am fine with that. I guess one has to start slow during a quarter-life crisis.

Unholy Worship

2007-01-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

I didn't just kneel. Physically unable to stand, I crawled to the porcelain god. Once there, I bowed low and offered every last ounce and residue of ingested contents to her. Repeatedly. A necessary evil, I haven't considered repentance an option, although I do feel forgiven after each deeply religious experience. And I simply flush it all away. Maybe I should be asking the forgiveness of Lake Ontario. That sounds right, but first things first, I'm parched. Anyone else for a glass of tap-water?

Now, able to stand without the assistance of a wall, I can walk the road to recovery. Hopefully it'll only be a quick detour before I step up to the real world full of health once again.

I've got a joke for you.

2007-01-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

A recent Ph.D graduate, a seasoned professor, an ordained buddhist monk, and yours truly walk into a classroom. There are eight other individuals in attendance and it smells like a bit of heaven.

The punchline? It's a course called Canadian Contextual Theology.

I've been laughing at this one all day.

Thanks for caring, I'm proud to call you my friends.

Psyched

2007-01-10T00:09:00.000-05:00

to be taking a course that involves music and theology. U2 and Bruce Cockburn as theological resources! This course (Music Prophecy and Culture) is engaging, which is light-years beyond the Spirituality and Health course I tested out earlier today. I don't have much to say or do in a class that wants to explore the cathartic healing process of creative writing. What's next, interpretive dance with the ambient sound of waterfalls and exotic birds playing in the background? I suppose the routine could get fairly innovative - those flimsy liberals have no spine. (Did I just tarnish the reputation of contortionists?) Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I haven't gone through a severe illness that would require some sort of psychological mop-up. But it's just another reason why I don't belong in that particular classroom.

Hopefully the Canadian Contextual Theology course tomorrow will be dramatically superior and I will have no problem dropping the Health course like the hateful waste of time it is.

I've been feeling negative recently. Like I want to take a bite out of the world and spit it out with a sneer on my face. That's not me ... so I guess something's wrong. Unfortunately, in this scenario I fall solidly into the category of 'man'. I won't be able to self-analyse with even remote sensitivity until much too late. This means that the cause of this quirk will remain concealed until I'm disabled enough to recognize it. Great!

Maybe I'm pissed about growing up, about not knowing what vocation suits me and a time that requires decision rapidly approaching. Or could it be that I am edgy because I wish I was a superhero and I'm coming to terms with my lack of wall-climbing ability.

I want to go on writing (heck, maybe it is cathartic) but I see no end to this late-night, stew-fueled, hyphen-bearing post. So I will cut the umbilical connection without questioning who the mother is: you or a politically confused user of onionless foods.

Post High-School Musical

2006-12-29T00:46:00.000-05:00

This post is inspired by Lisa Alton to whom I dedicate the contents.

A night of firsts.
First time ever playing a game of Twister, playing Mahjong for real (sorry Chuck, it's just not the same when we're both playing for two), talking for more than five seconds about 'A High-School Musical'. Obviously, a big night.

Now, another first - burning CDs to my computer to put them on my fodPod.

... I can't seem to get enough of these albums:
David Bazan - Fewer Moving Parts
Haste the Day - when everything falls
Radiohead - OK Computer
MewithoutYou - Catch For Us the Foxes
Weezer - Blue Album
Clutch - Blast Tyrant
There's rarely a car-trip without one of those.

Credit to Melissa for introducing me to the smokey-voiced excellence of Miss Millan.

This seems to be a musical post so I'll tell you that I listened to Amy Millan, Delirious (Mission Bell), and Billy Talent (self-titled) today. I may be among the few who enjoy Ben's vocals on their debut effort.

I have great friends. If this was MySpace I would give you all a hundred kudos, but it's not, so I'll mention that I got a haircut today and expect that all you loved souls out there will read between the lines.

Dare I hope?

2006-12-18T23:51:00.000-05:00

Tears of joy. Okay, that's a bit melodramatic. But, oh sweet end! I thought you were more distant.
This semester was overwhelming at points.

This degree is dense like Guinness in more ways than one, and I have learned the importance of true devotion to studies.

If I coddled Augustine and savoured Luke, if I wed Anselm and digested Yeago, I would be better for it. At moments, I read merely to apprehend, not to understand I will not do this again in the new year. I worked hard, but not quite hard enough. I have to quit thinking that I deserve these frequent and drawn-out breaks from reading and working on essays. (I think I am beginning to understand why so many T.A.'s and profs have glasses.) Although, everyone has A.D.D. - just to varying degrees.

A highlight of this past semester was the feedback from submitting one of my songs as a graded assignment for a 'History of Christianity' course. Beautiful choirs make my heart feel as though it's expanding – positive feedback makes my shoulders feel broader.

To dream is to doubt.

Almost Done

2006-12-14T04:31:00.000-05:00

So close to the end, and so very brain dead. I go back to page one to make sure that everything's in order and I realize that oim reedin' over me'payper in a fookin' Oirish acceunt. What th'fook!

At 2:30am...

2006-12-14T02:42:00.000-05:00

...I feel like I am in some apocalyptic movie where the death of humanity occurs, unbeknownst to me. I sit in my room, above the vacant streets, hammering away at an essay that I do not need to hand in. My professor has been swept away along with the rest of the mortals. Then the fear sets in ... why am I still here? Maybe it is better to think that I have an essay to hand in tomorrow.

Celebrity

2006-12-04T17:56:00.000-05:00

Ah yes. There's nothing like a semi-formed idea to kick-start a conversation, or incite a riot.

Here's one:

I know that Brittany Spears has not been wearing underwear this past week and that Lindsey Lohan is attending A.A. meetings. I am aware that Tom Cruise wore a girdle to his wedding, that Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock broke up, and that Danny DeVito was drunk on The View.

It's weird that I know more about these people than I do about my neighbours. The media invites people into my home that I don't necessarily want to meet, while two doors down, my neighbour – a potential friend, becomes acquainted with the same familiar strangers and their exploited faults.

I wave from across the street, I stop to say hello, I help with yard-work, because I wish I could do more. I wish I could build community and forget that I am inconvenienced by adding the needs of others to my own; the complexity of colliding agendas. I don't invite my neighbour in because "I'm sure he has more important things to do", and secretly, I'm glad for the excuse not to inconvenience myself.

But really, life is measured in the connections with the true essence of people; their souls I guess. That's something I enjoy, authentic meeting with genuine people. As this partial-idea fizzles out I'll attempt a stab at a summative statement.

There's an expression, something to the effect of 'I went outside to find a friend, but could not find one there. I went outside to be a friend, and friends were everywhere.'

If you're looking for me, I'll be outside. I'll be genuine.

detached

2006-12-03T19:17:00.000-05:00

Isolated, I am segregate.
Alone, I am exacerbate.
Cut-off, I am dissociate.
Without, I sublimate.

Letter to Eleanor

2006-11-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

Java

2006-11-28T20:23:00.000-05:00

Walking - then running, my nose kept me up all night. At 6am I realized that I had three hours left to get some sleep. I fumbled through the medicine cabinet and the half-eyed urgency of the moment didn't care if the Dristan was drowsy or non-. It was drowzshey. And waking up was very, very hard.

Bus,
Subway,
One tutorial,
One 'Theological Inquiry' class,
Lunch (Grilled Cheese and much ketchup),
Another tutorial,
"Dave, I can get you free coffee ... it's free."
"I don't drink coffee. Won't the two drugs will fight inside me?"
"It's free ... double-double?"
"Okay. Thanks man."

The second cup of coffee I've ever had burned my tongue, just like the first one. And then the drugs fought. The world suffered a constant and almost imperceptible tremor. I looked at my hands to see if they were shaking, but I think my eyes were shaking too.

The Nord Experience

2006-11-27T18:01:00.001-05:00

water tracking - day 6
Originally uploaded by alchemyindex.

Thanks to Jeff, I got to tool around with the nord Electro2 this weekend. Such an incredible realism to the sounds - someday my dreams and my finances will become friends, maybe even go out for drinks once in a while. It's nice to see that somebody else appreciates the sweetness that these magical red boxes can bring.

This weekend was amazing. The worship sessions on Saturday night and Sunday morning were incredible. In a room filled with singing/shouting high-school kids and a very obvious presence of God - it was an experience, a clarity of the heart, that I won't soon forget.

Plus, I got to hang out with Chuck and Crofty and eat as many Taco Bell tacos as I could handle. Then - to Wendy's for a few more eats that should have dramatically altered the composition of my fecal matter. I guess my iron stomach ignores the composition of even the worst - grade 'F' meat.

Just add water.

2006-11-23T00:21:00.000-05:00

Do you know that kind of sweet ache that comes when you think you're in love and she doesn't know? It rests somewhere between your heart and stomach and it begins to expand when she even looks in your direction. When she sends you a note, the feeling moves up and pushes your mouth into a stupid grin that you can't get rid of. That is, until you over-analyze it enough to write a blog about.

It sucks, but I know that any suave goodness that I have gets paralyzed when I'm convinced that I genuinely like the gal. It has gotten better with time. The every-dayness of relationships (and potential relationships) has blunted the exaggerration of un-suaveness, but the whole 'I don't care = relaxed = she loves me' vs. 'I adore her = nervous = she thinks I'm a big nerd' problem seems to keep cropping up with every new possibility. Perhaps this is the point in my life where I finally have things together enough to grow a relationship au naturel.

I'll simply let the organic experience unfold. Yes, while my heart beats visibly through my shirt.

My Room's Cold

2006-11-22T03:04:00.001-05:00

cruising
Originally uploaded by bviapiana.

Thailand, on the other hand, is very warm.
Every so often, I return there in my mind. It's soothing.

I really have nothing to write. I should be in bed. It's 3am and I have a paper to write tomorrow in addition to the weekly assignments I will tackle with scholarly agression. Good thing that type of a tackle doesn't ... who am I kidding - I need sleep!