Letter to Eleanor

Java

Walking - then running, my nose kept me up all night. At 6am I realized that I had three hours left to get some sleep. I fumbled through the medicine cabinet and the half-eyed urgency of the moment didn't care if the Dristan was drowsy or non-. It was drowzshey. And waking up was very, very hard.

Bus,
Subway,
One tutorial,
One 'Theological Inquiry' class,
Lunch (Grilled Cheese and much ketchup),
Another tutorial,
"Dave, I can get you free coffee ... it's free."
"I don't drink coffee. Won't the two drugs will fight inside me?"
"It's free ... double-double?"
"Okay. Thanks man."

The second cup of coffee I've ever had burned my tongue, just like the first one. And then the drugs fought. The world suffered a constant and almost imperceptible tremor. I looked at my hands to see if they were shaking, but I think my eyes were shaking too.

The Nord Experience

water tracking - day 6
Originally uploaded by alchemyindex.

Thanks to Jeff, I got to tool around with the nord Electro2 this weekend. Such an incredible realism to the sounds - someday my dreams and my finances will become friends, maybe even go out for drinks once in a while. It's nice to see that somebody else appreciates the sweetness that these magical red boxes can bring.

This weekend was amazing. The worship sessions on Saturday night and Sunday morning were incredible. In a room filled with singing/shouting high-school kids and a very obvious presence of God - it was an experience, a clarity of the heart, that I won't soon forget.

Plus, I got to hang out with Chuck and Crofty and eat as many Taco Bell tacos as I could handle. Then - to Wendy's for a few more eats that should have dramatically altered the composition of my fecal matter. I guess my iron stomach ignores the composition of even the worst - grade 'F' meat.

Just add water.

Do you know that kind of sweet ache that comes when you think you're in love and she doesn't know? It rests somewhere between your heart and stomach and it begins to expand when she even looks in your direction. When she sends you a note, the feeling moves up and pushes your mouth into a stupid grin that you can't get rid of. That is, until you over-analyze it enough to write a blog about.

It sucks, but I know that any suave goodness that I have gets paralyzed when I'm convinced that I genuinely like the gal. It has gotten better with time. The every-dayness of relationships (and potential relationships) has blunted the exaggerration of un-suaveness, but the whole 'I don't care = relaxed = she loves me' vs. 'I adore her = nervous = she thinks I'm a big nerd' problem seems to keep cropping up with every new possibility. Perhaps this is the point in my life where I finally have things together enough to grow a relationship au naturel.

I'll simply let the organic experience unfold. Yes, while my heart beats visibly through my shirt.

My Room's Cold

cruising
Originally uploaded by bviapiana.

Thailand, on the other hand, is very warm.
Every so often, I return there in my mind. It's soothing.

I really have nothing to write. I should be in bed. It's 3am and I have a paper to write tomorrow in addition to the weekly assignments I will tackle with scholarly agression. Good thing that type of a tackle doesn't ... who am I kidding - I need sleep!