Thursday, April 9, 2009

Voice Memo

I love this function on my cellphone, but what's this memo from January 4th of last year? As though from another lifetime, I hear my halting voice say ...

"It sounds like the neighbors are slowly roasting their dog on a spit;
making revolutions over a fire pit,
but I can't see over the fence."



Those dang rednecks, my dang subjectivity.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Skateboarding: The Goose and Gander Story

I love skateboarding. Not only is it good, clean fun, but it gives me the opportunity to discover other things that I enjoi. For example: photo ops (I really should purchase a legit camera), new friends, hidden urban treasures, bla bla bla. It's great to roll up to an unused parking lot and discover a spot that's perfect to skate – a spot that's somehow 'mine' now that I've discovered it. I'm a modern day Davestopher Columbus.

So, on the way back from the Oshawa Centre, I cut through the parking lot behind Mr. Sub and there, in the middle of the curbed island, was a nesting goose! Cool! It's like a nature show right there in front of me! As I rolled past the little mound of dirt topped with soft, down feathers and a plump mother goose, I took in the serenity of the moment. "I wonder why she's not getting all protective and stuff," I thought as I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye and, oh crap! DADDY'S HOME TOO! I hopped off my board and braced myself for the flurry of fury that was just behind me. He hissed as he swooped in and thrashed around my head wildly with his wings. He clipped me a couple times before I stepped back and swung my skateboard, but didn't connect because he had already started dropping to the ground to spit and hiss at me. (Just relax Ingrid Newkirk.)

I had been smiling since I saw momma, but now I was laughing as I pictured the whole scene as if from a lonely security camera in this abandoned parking lot. "When Geese Attack! Part # Doom" Actually, it's not that dramatic. I don't know who taught this goose how to wing thrash, but it wasn't very effective. A lot of noise and ... seriously, how threatening can a creature be when it's made of hollow bones and feathers?

So here we stand, me looking to snap a couple cell-pics and this gander – prepared to fight to the death to protect his family.

I was finished after a couple of pictures and began to walk away, which is probably what stirred up a fresh boost of bravado in our friend Dandy Long-Neck. He continued to hiss and came at my ankles with wings stretched low and mouth wide open. Did you know boards double as shields? I love skateboarding.