Monday, February 5, 2007

I know who I am! - quarter-life crisis averted

Okay, I may be running too far on a tangent, but I feel like I left the last post somewhat unresolved. So I will enjoy the flavour of my leftovers-mixed-into-soup lunch (in all its appropriateness) and recount for you a two-dimensional version of a revelation I experienced this very morning.

To re-cap: I attempted to define myself according to my familial relationships. I am a son and a brother. I figured that the relationships I share with these people would describe who I am. I was so close! But it took a little more time to refine this raw idea into a more workable concept.

Now Рa disclaimer here РI'm still working this through and I'm open to objections or suggestions. That said, I think this is at least a big step in the right direction, that being toward my own elusive identity. (This is far too wordy, hang in there! Dave tells fantastic stories if they don't bore you to tears.) I was so focussed on my identity being within myself, a core, a true-self hidden deep within the recesses of my being. So deep was this cach̩ of personality, that even I could never fully uncover it.

But I was searching in the wrong spot! Identity is not inside, it's outside. By that I mean – I discover myself in my relationships. To be human is to be a relational being - a being that relates in a unique way to others who share the same relational capacity. Through relational activity, we discover exclusive distinctions about the 'self' - our identity. (I just took 'thereby' out of that sentence. Whew. It would suck if, as I relate my thoughts, I discovered that I'm a huge nerd.)

What if I'm stranded on a deserted island? There's nobody to relate to! Good question ... Dave. I would go so far as to say that we are designed to be defined by our relationships, the most important of which is our relationship to our designer. It is in the pursuit of this relationship that self-discovery unleashes its full potential. Who could know me better than the being that created me?

This is a beast of a post, but I'm glad I wrote it. Writing these things out (and talking them out too, I guess) helps me fill in the gaps between big ideas. Thanks for sticking around.

In the spirit of this post, I leave you with a distortion of Tyler Durden's words ...



You are not your job. You are not the car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your bowel cancer. You are not your censored khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing people of the world.

6 comments:

Beka said...

i have a button that says "talk nerdy to me." it made me laugh. so i bought it. so go on a be a huge nerd, no fears. you are inspiring countless people by your intelligent venting thoughts.

Mrs. West said...

i think i read this post over about 5 times because i liked it so much. i'm actually not exaggerating. however, i AM procrastinating. hmmm.

Dave said...

Procrastination can make you do weird things.

I just watched the news.

mrcs said...

dave... thats better. all on your focus eh? step back far enough and ooh! there I am.

christine said...

i think i had the same quarter-life crisis.
creepy.
maybe we are twins.

~m said...

you are maybe the coolest person i've never met (today). have you ever read anything by italo calvino?